sandiegolifer

my life in san diego. and other places.

Category: Life

Break-Up / Make-Up

So I think it’s pretty tragic that it ended that in the typical gay story. He cheated. We were at Pride and he threw almost five years away for a random. The worst was he wasn’t even hot! Somehow I felt it was my fault. I kept thinking that I wasn’t enough — not hot enough, personality sucks, etc. I felt the blame was on me for some reason.

A month later, we had our trip to Asia that we planned when we were still together. I didn’t spend that much money to just throw it away. I was going to go whether he liked it or not. And, let me say, he did not want me going! I found it so weird that throughout the break up, he was always more mad at me than me at him. On the way up, I told him that I want to have the best trip possible and that means I’m going to be cordial to him and I would like the same respect from him. This was our trip and we could make it however we wanted, whether it be good or bad. It’s our decision. For my part, I wanted to be an amazing trip. Luckily, he agreed too and we really formed our friendship back from that trip. I feel like I’m a forgiving person. I can always forgive but I definitely won’t forget!

When we came back, we returned to best friend status. We hung out and we had good times. I was also talking to guys though and I eventually met one that I starting monogomously dating. He was nice and we hung out a lot. My ex immediately stopped talking to me after he found out… But with my new guy, I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that I was just cheated on but I had the same feeling about him after a month. He also was heavily drinking and I’ve never seen someone get the way he did when he got wasted. Combining those two things and that I just started school, I used being too busy as the excuse to break up.

After we broke up, I told my ex and we started talking again. By then, he started dating someone too. We decided we had a history and we could maintain a best friend relationship and that’s where we are at. His boyfriend at the time told him that he didn’t like him that much and also didn’t like him hanging out with an ex (me) and they eventually broke it off. I was a little happy about that. I sort of felt good about it that he got his heart broken since that’s what he did to me. I felt guilty for feeling so good about it, though. After their break up, I took him out for a day of fun — lunch, the beach, and dinner — to get his mind off of it. After feeling happy and then guilty, I felt sad for him. He was still my friend and I feel for him. He cried and I consoled him. He told me that this wasn’t nearly what he went through when we broke up. Something I thought was weird since it was him that cheated on me, not the other way around… I wanted to tell him he did that to himself but now wasn’t the time.

Currently, we are still friends and are on great terms. I hold no ill feelings towards him. I’m not sure if that is normal.

20/100 Happy Days. (Day 32)

My boyfriend tried the Master Cleanse a year ago but didn’t last on it too long. The Master Cleanse is a juice fast diet that is supposed to cleanse your body of all the toxins and give you a fresh, healthy recharge. For however many days you do it, you are basically surviving off of a juice mixture of lemon juice, water, maple syrup and cayenne pepper.

A couple of days ago, he wanted to try it again. He researched it and printed out some information on it so I can read it as well and see if I wanted to try it. I remember a personal trainer that I Lyfted telling me about how to change my diet and fitness routine. He said its good to start with a cleanse and he recommended this one, then after a strict diet and exercise routine. Having what he said in mind, I agreed to do it with my BF. It starts with a gradual process into eating less. The first day, we only ate live foods — salads, fruits, etc but no processed food. The next day we only ate liquids — juice, smoothies and soups. The third day we only had orange juice.

Today is the first day of the actual cleanse. We prepared parts of the mixture but will mix it all together right before we drink it. We both have school and he has work after so we made it portable. I just drank a mixture in-between this sentence and the last. It’s not horrible if you just chug it. I plan on doing it for only three days but my BF wants to do it for five. After the three days, I have to do what I did before the juice fast but in reverse. I will only drink orange juice for one day, other liquids the second day and live foods on the third. I plan on eating better and sticking to mainly a pescatarian diet after. (My camping trip will be the exception until I decide I want to eat meat again).

For not eating that much in a few days, I feel okay. I’m surprisingly not hungry except when a food commercial comes on tv. I’ve all of a sudden thought KFC looks really good which I haven’t eaten in a long time.

Photo Credit.

13/100 Happy Days. (Day 25)

The positive event that stands out most yesterday was at my other job. There are new people promoted to my job title and I worked with one of them yesterday for the first time. The whole day I was asking questions to gauge what he knew and what I could show him. I showed him a few ways how the place operated and gave some tips. He also asked questions that I helped him with. At the end of the night, he thanked me for treating him like an equal and not just bossing him around, which he said all the others in our position were doing to him. I really appreciated him telling me that a lot and thought that my actions weren’t that different from the others. I guess I was very wrong and made me think how intimidating it would be then to come into it if everyone (but me) was giving him that treatment. He’s also been working for a few weeks but I work very seldomly (I think I just made up that word, I don’t think it normally can have that ending LOL) so we didn’t encounter each other much except for in passing.

Moments like that make this job an okay and rewarding job.

Photo Credit.

12/100 Happy Days. (Day 24)

Oh happy day! I got my wallet back. I wrote yesterday about how I lost my wallet. I was in a really bad mood since I had my driver’s license and credit cards all in there. It is a really unique wallet pictured above. It is more like a cardholder / money clip but I call it my wallet since it holds everything I would carry in a wallet.

I lost it yesterday when I went to the disc golf course. It was a nice, sunny day so I wore some new shorts that I got. The shorts had really small pockets and my wallet somehow and somewhere fell out. I didn’t notice until we were back at my car. We had to retrace our steps and I went to every place I could think of where my wallet could have fallen out. It was nowhere to be seen. I went to the disc rental shop and left my name and phone number to call if someone turned it in. No calls.

I called today and they had it. Someone did turn it in! …although they didn’t call me when they turned it in, I was still happy I got it back. I told them I’d be there in a few minutes to pick it up. I went there and asked for it. The guy handed it back to me and I checked to see if everything was there. It was! All my useless (now that I cancelled all the cards) pieces of plastic but I was glad I got it back. My wallet was unique and my ID was there. So so happy! No need to wait in the DMV line to get a new one. Just need to wait for all my cards to be back!

There are still great honest humans out there! That’s why I love San Diego! There are still a few left here 🙂

Photo Credit.

Challenge Accepted Again. (Day 22)

So I am back on track with the 30 Day Fitness Challenge. I started up again and began with Day Seven. So for the seventh day, you do 25 push-ups, 80 squats, 40 sit-ups, 35 crunches, 20 leg raises and a plank for 30 seconds. Just for the record, sit-ups suck so much. All the exercises are pretty doable with no breaks or possibly a one second break every so often but my abs must be in really bad shape because the sit-ups were killing me.

I don’t see much of a change physically because I did take a break and during the break, I was eating a little too much. It is twenty two days until pride and I’m wondering if I can lose my tummy before that. I need to not take any breaks and make sure my eating habits are on track. I think my biggest struggle is not being prepared and suddenly need to make a food choice and all the available choices aren’t healthy. I just need to think ahead and be prepared. Not only do I want to lose that for pride and for my trip to Asia but I also just want that weight off permanently so I need to make a lifestyle change now! That way I can lose the weight and keep it off.

UPDATE: Did the next day’s exercise and it was still the same struggle. The sit-ups are killing me. I might need to perform these in three sets with a short break in-between instead of just busting through them at once. I’m getting to the amount where it is becoming painful to do. All the rest are a piece of cake in comparison.

UPDATE: I took two days off because I was at my boyfriend’s house and there was lack of room to do them.

UPDATE: I did day ten and it was brutal after the two days off. I wish I just had stuck with it. I found a new way to do the sit ups that make it much easier to accomplish. The sit-ups are still the hardest thing on the line up for me. The push-ups were killer too after the break. I had to take a break in-between to finish which I’ve never done before. The rest was okay.

UPDATE: I did day eleven exercises before class. It made me feel so much better all day. I’m not sure if it was mental or physical but I felt better that day. The sit-ups again are not my best friend. The crunches feel like a breeze afterwards. I don’t notice much of a difference in my body though. I can tell I’m gaining some muscle underneath but I’m not losing any inches on my waist or anything. I look pretty much like I did before. Hopefully this changes towards the end.

UPDATE: LOL I postponed it again. My boyfriend and I are on a Master Cleanse so don’t want to strain myself too much since I’m not taking in very many calories. Although, I did do 30 push-ups, 30 sit-ups and 30 squats just to keep my muscles active and not fade back into nothing.

Photo Credit.

Niece. (Day 21)

My niece is the cutest thing ever. It’s my sister’s first baby and she is so adorable. She is one and a half and can’t talk quite yet but I love that little kid. I am one of her two stepfathers. It was a very untraditional baptism. My sister wanted to name two guys as the step-parents — me and her husband’s cousin (no, he’s not gay). It was hard for her to find a church that would baptize her with two guys as the step parents, even though we aren’t together like that. I think they assumed we were and hence weren’t okay with it? She eventually found one willing to do it but then also named her brother’s sister as a stepmother as well.

My sister came to pick up some tickets I got for her from me at my house and she brought over her daughter. She is a little shy at first and doesn’t always recognize me. I think that’s a sign I need to be in her life more. After a while, she got more comfortable and she was playing around like little toddlers do. She was curious about everything and walking all over the place. Everything on the tables she was inspecting and throwing on the floor. She likes birds so when we ask where the birds are, she points at the bird statues around the house. She is also learning English and Spanish at the same time so when she hands us things, we tell her “Gracias” and she imitates us. So cute. She got more comfortable with me near the end of the visit and let me hold her for a while without wanting to go back to her mom. I need to make more play dates with her so she grows up knowing who I am.

Status. (Day 19)

I have been really bad lately on my 30 Day Fitness Challenge. I need to really step it up. Maybe even start all over again? I think if I start from the beginning again then it will feel too easy so many I will just start where I left off and keep it going for thirty days from today and just add on to the last one.

The main reason for me putting it off is that I’ve been staying at my boyfriend’s house a lot. He crashed his car recently so I’ve been kind and have been driving him places. I’ve been at his house and his room doesn’t have as much room to do the at home exercises that I’ve been doing for this challenge. I’ve also been driving for Lyft in my spare time to pay off some debt that I accrued when I gave my boyfriend some money recently. It wasn’t much but with my other bills it put me a little out this month.

I, also, ate waay too much yesterday and I need to be in better shape for Taiwan and our city’s gay pride festival is coming up too. We all know how judgmental gay people are…. I need to get rid of my little belly before then.

On the school front, I am doing well. I have a test tomorrow so I need to study a lot tonight to get another good grade. The course is moving progressively fast with more ideas and topics that I don’t remember so I need to put more effort into it to get good grades.

Also, I haven’t talked about it on here but I have another job as well. I am getting really bored of it and am wondering if there are better pastures somewhere else. I don’t get paid handsomely but I do make a few dollars more than minimum and am scared I won’t find a job that will pay as much or more. I feel kind of trapped and stagnant there.

UPDATE: I did start my fitness challenge again here. We are also now on the Master Cleanse.

6/100 Happy Days.

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Sorry to make this particular post non-PG13 but the honest thing that made my day a good one was sex with my boyfriend. It’s not always the top item of my day since we do it quite often but this day was different. We just did it a different way and I won’t get into details but it was good. I could tell he really enjoyed it too.

Photo Credit.

Ramen. (Day 15)

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Yesterday, I went to go eat with some friends from work. I’m trying to put myself out there and be more social. The plan was to go out to eat some ramen noodles in the Asian part of town. I arrived first and saved us a table. I was waiting on two friends from work and another guy that I know of but have never spoken to before or hung out with. The friend I’m closest to arrived next and we talked for awhile before the other two arrived. I have never been to this particular place before so I didn’t really know what to order. The other three ended up ordering the same thing and I ordered a style of ramen that I’m used to at another establishment.

There were definitely some good things about this place and some things I liked better at the ramen place I go to often. The design of this place was very cool. It was really rustic with lots of wooden accents on the outside and the inside. Instead of glasses, they used small mason jars. For distributing water, they had these tall, slender bottles with a detachable plastic cork. The place was visually pleasing in all directions. When it came to the ramen, I liked the cuts of pork that they served, the egg was cooked better, the service was waaaayyy better and the serving size was bigger. At my usual place, I like the size of the noodles, the price of the ramen, the taste of the broth, and the taste of the seaweed that they have. Overall though I think I like this new place better. I’ve realized that I do like to go out and socialize with friends. It’s much better and satisfying than being at home alone but I still value my alone time. I think a good blend of both will benefit me and strengthen my ability to keep and maintain friendships since I feel I am so bad at keeping friends.

I want/need to be more social.

Photo Credit: Me.

Kombucha. (Day 10)

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Have you heard of kombucha before? It’s a tea fermented with yeast and other bacteria. You can buy it at the grocery store and it’s naturally carbonated. It’s so good. I like GT’s Gingerade Kombucha. When drank cold, it tastes so refreshing.

My boyfriend has been making his own kombucha and I just finished my first batch! I made mine (pictured above) with tea, apple juice and strawberries. It tasted so good that I couldn’t drink it slow. I was pretty much chugging the shit out of it. It’s pretty simple if you want to make your own. You just need some kombucha and it’s a continuously circular process. You can either start it from a store bought bottle or have a friend give you a SCOBY, which is the yeast and bacteria that forms to ferment the tea. I used the bottle I bought at the store to make mine. Here’s a quick how to:

Buy a bottle of kombucha at the store. Make sure to buy one with a lot of stuff accumulating at the bottom. That’s the kombucha. Have a container to use to make the kombucha. Measure out 10% of that container. Then leave that much of your drink that you bought and drink until you get to that point. Save the rest.

Boil water and make tea. Add a lot of sugar. Wait for the tea to get to room temperature. Then pour it into your container, leaving room for the amount in the store bought bottle. Pour the store bought bottle in the container. Cover with a breathable material. You want to keep bugs and bacteria away.

Keep in a closet for a week. At the top should be a thick layer or kombucha. You can reuse this in another container and start another batch while still using the original at the bottom of the container to do another. You can make more exponentially. Just make sure to save 10% of whatever the container can hold of the original tea to start the next batch. Repeat the other steps above.

I’m working on my next batch. I’m thinking ginger and orange slices. It’s in the closet stage right now. 🙂

Also, happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!